Boundaries or Threshold?
Boundaries
Setting boundaries has become a common theme when managing one’s own wellbeing.
It is a way to give ourselves permission to say no or not right now to people, situations or circumstances that may cause us anxiety, stress or do not fill us with joy. Those boundaries are in often put in place in context of people, situations, circumstances or events external to us.
But doing so does not guarantee our anxiety, stress or unhappiness ceases.
On the contrary it can increase because we worry about what we have done, what impact it has on other people and what people will say about us. So why bother with the boundary in the first place.
The way to successfully create these imaginary boundaries is to do so with our inner being, our Higher Self. Because the boundaries we need are not to avoid these people, situations, circumstances or events, because in the real world it is almost impossible to do that.
The boundaries we need are within the narrative of our inner self.
I hate this person. I need to avoid them. With the Higher Self becomes, I will be gracious and polite to this person, knowing that I can allow my values to prevail.
This situation makes me deeply unhappy and does not fill me with joy. With the Higher Self becomes, I know that this situation has the potential to drain my soul, but my soul is mine to fill. I will be open hearted and present my best self in this situation then afterwards I will take a walk a nature to restore my happiness and fill my soul.
These circumstances are creating feelings of frustration and anger with me. I hate that this is happening to me. With the Higher Self becomes, I accept that these circumstances have brought a strong negative reaction within me. I also accept there is another part of me that knows these circumstances will pass at some point. Until then I will breathe deeply to allow the strong emotions to pass through and I will listen to my Higher Self to remind myself of the change I want to see and feel.
This event has knocked me off course. I feel unbalanced, ungrounded, sad, grief stricken and feel like I cannot cope. I want to hide from the world. With the Higher Self becomes, I honour these feelings and I allow myself time each day to detach from the world. To rest, either laying down for sleep or walking in nature, so that I can recognise these emotions and allow them to pass through. By honouring my emotions, my balance is restored. I ask those close to me, to allow me the time I need to rest and to support me with love as I love through this phase.
The downside of implementing boundaries around your world to prevent things reaching you, is that you may potentially close yourself off to opportunities that the Universe wants to give you.
Setting boundaries also puts us in ‘victim’ mode. It is an underlying theme that we tell ourselves we are victim to other people, situations, circumstances and events and that beings a vicious circle of never feeling fulfilled.
When you reach within to your Higher Self, create instead of boundaries, create a threshold. This change of words has a different vibrational frequency.
Boundaries are often associated with plans and deed for the boundaries and lines between land and properties, homes or places. They are fixed. Rarely can we keep anything fixed in our lives, because life is not fixed itself.
Instead, think about a threshold. Who do you allow into your inner circle threshold (imagine this being like your front door) and who do you ask to stay on the doorstep (outside the front door).
Using this metaphor to ‘set your boundaries’ is likely to be more manageable and realistic than fixing permanent boundaries.
The feeling of empowerment that you have moved from relying completely on your conscious mind, to listening to your Higher Self begins a transformation within you.
If boundaries and threholds are an issue for you and you would like to arrange an initial chat, email me: support@theintuitionconnection.com